CONSIDER THESE CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIPS PROBLEMS

by Steve Mitchell

Let's be clear - relationships can be complicated. To have a long-term strong and stable relationship, both parties involved need to recognise that they need to work at it. This means that each person must come to terms with the fact that there's no such thing as a 'perfect relationship'; there is always the possibility of relationships problems, and that it takes consistent effort by both partners to ensure that a relationship goes the distance.

Anyone who has been in a relationship has likely had relationships problems. These problems can arise because of a number of things. One thing that can cause strife is when either one or both parties do not take the time to listen to and understand the other's perspective.

It's easy to just say 'you need to see it from the other person's perspective' but that's often easily said and not so easily done. When you have a strong perspective on things, it is often difficult to let go of that to look at the situation from how your partner is seeing it. But you must really try! There are many different reasons why both parties often find it difficult to understand the other party's perspective.

1. Sometimes it is because there is something from another part of a person's life that is causing stress and unhappiness. This often causes a general negative outlook, and the unwillingness to be flexible, loving and forgiving. It is best not to discuss heavy issues during these times.

2. Lack of communication can also cause one person not to understand the other's perspective. Communication is key in a relationship. It's clear; the more you communicate your thoughts and feelings to one another, the more understanding you will have.

3. Unresolved anger with issues in the relationship can also cause relationships problems. When one or both of you is upset with the other person, it can result in a negative attitude and response to each other.

4. Another emotion, such as jealousy, can cause the person experiencing the emotion to be less trustful or open with their partner. To be able to see something from someone else's point of view, one has to be willing to do so. When strong emotions surface they tend to cloud an individual's judgment.

In order to avoid relationships problems, it is important to communicate with your partner, and to listen openly and non judgmentally to everything he or she has to tell you. If you have an issue with the information he or she has given you, try to discuss your concerns in a diplomatic manner and a calm, even tone. Remember why you are in the relationship, and make efforts to work toward happiness for both of you.